Letters
by CutMyPaperHEaRtInTWo
Summary: FBIY The past returns to thought with the Sohmas. The dwelling feeling between Hatori's past comes as Kagome was part of the Sohma home and even a important memory in the heart for Akito.
1. Default Chapter

_**Dear Kagome Higuarshi,**_

_**Time without Kanna has been diffucult yet varies as I remember the moments together. This curse of the Zodiac has truly turned me into that the cold of winter. Kanna is soon to be married as I heard through the Sohma grapevine. You are the only one who I have opened to the tree feelings of her. Her empty space beside me, to think I would never melt due to that lit memory of her in my mind when I am to be the one to erase all their memories. Those who were never to know and forget and those who know yet still remain. I wonder at times if knowing about this curse gives you the right to honestly and rememberance. Does it give you the wings of freedom that Kanna and I once shared? Those boundries brought together pain held me yet. I must go on, I only dream that in the end I can see that light of joy that once impaled me until the shuttered darkness that came. **_

_**I trust you to have heard through the grapevine the story of the one they call Tohru Honda. I have met her and she is the one I believe who will lit the lives of many. She in many ways reminds me of you. Those days of heartfilled letters you would write to the Sohmas that lit their lives. You were what held Akito from hurting Yuki at that moment. I do believe that you were the reason Kyo accepted himself, then your spirit splurred into that of this ordinary girl Tohru Honda. I wish for you to meet her some day. Perhaps in your next letter to Shigure and his residents you could request a visit. You'll be surprised at the outcome of the visit. The differences she has made will impress you to the state of shock. A smile may light a million like you said yet this girl's smile lights a billion. Maybe it is that the loss of Kanna in my life has drove me to these heights of affection for this girl. As you are the rage of affection for this family.**_

_**Kyo and Yuki have come to a less...violent standard as you may say. They can sit together or stand without fighting every second. Humorous if you were to ask me actually. Yet as the undying snow I cannot accept the steps of laughter as I cannot again fall to those moments of peace and joy with Kanna. The spring would only increase the cold days for me due to my past. Even though I could not allow her back into my arms after what has happened. If I knew that future to occur I would have never allowed her into my heart as she was much like I would never let her go as this. Please allow this heart to drift, as the cherry blossom petals of spring freeze to icicles in the dreary lost wind. A shriveling beauty, the undying love, my emotions write a book of sonnets from the unforgettable past. **_

_**Yours always...**_

_**Hatori Sohma**_

_**Please ignore the formality I have built here I guess the boundries never do break down, Also Akito sends his regards...**_

**I dropped the pen sealing it into the envelope and writing the address. I argued with himself to add the seal I have always added that she had come to collect from myself. A petal of a rose was always put in the envelope of my letters as I felt the tender petal in my hand. Stamping the seal into the envelope I stood and walked out to the mailbox and slipped it in. Kagome Higuarshi. This girl, no this woman that I had grown fond of who the savoir of the family before Tohru yet now Tohru is here and they stand beside each other to save the Sohma family from the curse. I opened up to Kagome told her of Kanna and everything that is until Kagome was forced to move from the main house at Akito's orders since she was just exposed to a disease and he feared that she would die...he wasn't to accept it. **

**The first one Akito ever came to care for like that. She was strong, a black belt at the age of five and soon every five years she was a black belt at another event. Every strategy yet then after 10 years she was already mastering them two years at a time. Amazing actually. She was also intellgent. Brains and brones, as the saying went. Strangely like he could take away a memory she was a phsyic. She was some kind of wiccan able to do so much. Truly talented, her parents as proud as ever. Yet they weren't able to show it as they died so very quickly. She was 12 and they passed away now she is 17 and still she gets so happy all the time. Just like Tohru... At 12 she moved into the Sohma house and at 15 she was out because she was diagnoised with leukimia yet her immune system seemed so strong like she was plainly weak. **

**Akito watched her suffer painfully then shunned her out giving her a home at a shrine with another family that she was adopted into. She cried. On the last night she stayed up forever making paper cranes for everyone in the family which took forever considering everyone and left them all for everyone even the ones outside the house. She was accepted yet just like that she was thrown out. Then she actually went for it, she hugged me. We were altered. I changed yet then in a second before my clothes shedded off me I was back. She whispered what she had done. Created a possible end to the tranformation and so close to the ending of this curse. I held her and whispered," Don't forget to write."**

**That was all I said, out of everything I could have said I said that. She looked down then looked back up smiling," I won't, oh yeah here you go Hatori...your crane."**

**I looked down as she handed me a white and blue crane, her hands were cut and look shaky, I just took it yet right as it came into my hands she turned away her hair left behind her and her feet pivetting around. She ran out of the exit and through the gates the doors forcefully shutting behind her. I lifted his hand to his face she had splashed her tears over his face. I shut my eyes and turned away. Akito turned to him his face color drained yet not from sickness. He whispered to me," Hatori, you held no tears as she left, you are truly as cold as winter."**

**Shutting the doors I turned to him as he walked away. I took it, it was true. I was as cold as the winter. I accepted it. Even through spring and summer I was the winter. **

**Finfor now don't worry it's not a one-shot you have to review to read ooooo good line anyway chow.**


	2. Flashbacks

_**Dear Hatori Sohma,**_

_**As you saw I did emphasize on the last name. After all I minus will be a Sohma too won't I. Even though I will never be accepted into this family I will never be accepted anywhere, I know that everyone is accepted into my circle I'm just not accepted into theirs and that is that. Now you said that Kyo and Yuki are getting along a little, Able to sit next to each other. If you weren't the one telling me I think I would have busted into laughter. Even though I have spoken to Kanna and about the wedding she is so happy. She was screeching in joy almost collapsing and tears of joy came. I'm not trying to rub it into your face just so you know Hatori. I wouldn't do that. You aren't winter as you downcast yourself; you aren't spring or summer either. Just so you know, you're Hatori not a season. If you want to be compared I would say you're a fall anyway. Not cold or warm, in-between it is just not the same. **_

_**I have written to Kyo and Yuki they wrote back, their attitudes are completely different! I was so surprised, I guess Miss Honda is a wonderful person. They have changed for the better, I am glad I am alive to see it. Shigure is also himself, his perverted and irresponsible self. Even though I have graduated from collage as a lawyer and government agent for current affairs. I am very happy yet of course you know me at the top never letting any pretty boy get on my case. I'm happy to say! I want to visit you guys but Akito…he has forbid me and I am guessing you are busy after all you're a doctor in need of taking care of the family. Ritsu wrote to me and said he was better more self-confident. I was so proud of him I sent him a present. You'll have to ask him what it is, I'm sure he'll go crazy thinking he's bragging though. Hatori- I miss you. I miss the home and everything yet this place I am living in is but only a shelter not a comfort zone. The main house was my comfort zone even though no one visits anymore. I fell a little distant, like I'm talking to the dead,**_

_**Don't even attempt to crack a joke with that since I am a Wicca Hatori! Oh yeah since I am at the top done with school and everything at the age of 19 I am honored. They gave me a chance to move to the United States in New York but you know I would never do that. I'll just become farther from you guys. Akito though, how is he doing please tell me he hasn't done anything rash, I'm concerned for him. Very concerned. I plan on visiting though for Christmas or the first day of spring! Akito wouldn't mind I could very well tell without speaking to him. He's just trying to shun me from his life due to this disease. My leukemia just brings coughing and gets me tired at times yet over all I am strong. I can fight as well as ever and you can tell it isn't making me delirious. I'm healthy if you release the harbored ideas of my illness. Don't worry yourself as you read about this illness in your books. **_

_**Anyway how is Kisa, the last time I saw her she was but only a little baby as small as your palm and Hiro…the same for him. The very same I could tell his ignorance at the start I saw him. Yet Kisa I heard of her troubles through the told grapevine and then from Kyo and Yuki I heard about Hiro and what Akito had did. I put a sickness on him for it and brought him a wave of regret then it ended with me to apologize and for him to sorrowfully apologize repeatedly. I visited when you were with Kanna the last day when you erased her memory…. I felt the waves of emotions and I cried. You never knew this actually no one did really forgive me. I'll visit Shigure tomorrow I hope to see you too Hatori. **_

_**Forever Yours,**_

_**Kagome Higurashi**_

**Kagome sealed the letter into the envelope sealing it with a glistening bead. She stood up and walked down the steps from her room out the door. Slipping the letter into the envelope she looked around outside. It was snowing as she leaned against the doorframe looking outside to the sleeping world. Snow lifting over it as a blanket. She smiled remembering the verse Hatori had come to the stamp into himself, " I am as cold as winter."**

**She turned around returning back to the house. She grabbed her jacket slipping it over her shoulders and sliding a wool hat over her head slipping into her shoes and walking out the door. The snow continued to fall as she smiled stretching out her arms and twirling in circles drilling herself into the snow smiling until she fell to the ground sinking deep into the world of snow. The temperature of this snow was not cold it was just right a soothing bath to her. Entwining her fingers into her dark locks and the cold snow she smiled," Just like at the main house."**

**She remembered running into the snow like that every winter at the main house. She would always do that no matter what. The snow would be her deathbed and the snow would be her rebirth. Her smile curled on her face as she looked up to the sky whispering to herself incoherent thoughts of the past. **

**Hatori stood there, he was about 50 feet away from her standing they're watching her as she danced in the snow. He watched her lay in the snow. She drowned deep into the white abyss. Without a word he walked toward her and sat down. She jumped," Hatori!"**

**He didn't turn to her he just sat there in the snow without a word. He didn't say anything yet at the same time he said everything. She smiled hugging her knees," You came, I was beginning to think you would never visit again."**

**He kept his solemn face," what made you think that?"**

**Shrugging and leaning a head to his shoulder she whispered," The factors that your letter was like a letter after not seeing each other or reuniting after a year. Maybe you're getting to old."**

**He smiled turning away," I doubt I am as old as your senile grandfather."**

**Kagome laughed then stood up wiping the snow off herself and taking his hand," Come on, I'll give you your letter and then we'll have some tea."**

**Standing and following her Hatori smiled inside. He was beaming on a thoughtful note. It was just like old times. This one person drove him to summer as Kanna drove him to spring. The never ending seasons that continued on. Kagome handed him the letter and it took it slipping it into his pocket walking inside to have a cup of tea with his old time friend. **

**Kyo sat down staring at the envelope that had came to him he knew who it was from the name was on the cover and that seal was the same every time. She always put the animal she was sending it to picture as the seal. It thought it was cute a little yet also annoying at the way she made him look so harmless when he wanted to be so strong. Sighing he dropped the envelope on the table. Yuki spoke," Why don't you just open it, it's not a bomb."**

" **Shut up and stay out of my damn business."**

**Yuki turned to him," Obviously you know it's from Kagome after all her name is right there and the seal tells all. She wouldn't attempt to kill you, after all a bomb wouldn't fit into that envelope when it's already in your brain."**

" **Stay out of it you damn rat! Stop making it sound like you know everything! Why haven't you opened yours yet anyway!"**

**He averted his eyes toward him with a glare," That's none of your business!"**

**Shigure ran in smiling with an unfolded paper in his hand. His face sparkling with joy as he sang," Our dear Kagome has written such wonderful words to me! Oh how I miss her cheerful face! I have not seen her in years!"**

**They glared at him then spoke in unison," Are you trying to bring it up?"**

**He retorted to defend himself," of course not! Hey why haven't you opened your letters yet?"**

**They remained quiet as Shigure sat down before them. Tohru walked into the room," hello everyone!"**

**Yuki smiled," hello Miss Honda welcome back."**

**She smiled to him then saw the envelopes," You got mail? Why aren't you reading it yet?"**

**They let out a sigh then grabbed their letters without a word. Sending a quick glare to each other then turned away as Shigiure sighed," It seems you both hate the idea of Kagome sending such wonderful words yet the imagery has disappeared. Well good news! She's visiting!"**

**They froze with shock yet also never ending joy. Tohru asked," Who's Kagome?"**

**Yuki and Kyo stood up dragging Shigure outside as Tohru rose a hand to stop them but they were already gone. Shigure pleaded," Tohru help!"**

**Yuki asked angrily," What do you mean she's visiting?"**

**" Yeah! Akito forbided it because of that damn sickness of her's."**

**Playing with his fingers he smiled," She was banished from the main house not this house remember. And she's coming tomorrow so is Hatori."**

**Kyo shrieked," What! Why the hell does he have to come!"**

**Shigure stood taking a serious note and looking up to them," You know the bond Kagome and Hatori shared. She wasn't allowed to visit the main house and that is where Hatori lived. She left disappeared. All of us have written to her don't you remember all her letters that meant so much to us."**

**Looking opposite directions they sighed and turned around leaving him there and continuing to open their letters and read it. Sighing at the words she held. Tohru looked at their docile faces and smiled thinking to herself, whoever this Kagome is I know I'm going to be happy to meet her.**

**Shigure then cut in ruining the moment," Oh yes and Haru, Ritsu, Ayame, Kagura, Hiro, Kisa, Momiji, and Kazuma are coming to."**

**The room became silent as Yuki turned to him fists clenched and Kyo followed. They kicked him outside as Kyo yelled," You basterd!"**

**Yuki warned," Don't come back."**

**Tohru jumped," Everyone's coming tomorrow! I should go shopping for more food."**

**Yuki and Kyo turned ending their anger streak as Yuki smiled," Don't worry Miss Honda Kagome is bringing some food so you won't need to over work yourself."**

**Kyo nodded grunting," And they don't need to eat either."**

**Shigure smiled," Yes, and everyone else is bringing food too. We are going to meet at Sakura park near here. It is sure to be alot of fun. After all Kagome is a wicca it is sure to be a blast, the park is reserved for us."**

**Tohru questioned," A wicca?"**

**They nodded as she then asked again," so is she a Sohma."**

**Yuki answered," Well yes and no. She lived in the main house yet she was kicked out, and she is ill you see she has leukima."**

**" Yeah and she can hug us without us changing, she is a witch so she can put these little magic things together I guess."**

**Turning to him Yuki corrected," they are called charms stupid."**

**" Don't call me stupid! Stupid!"**

**" Stupid."**

**He growled as Tohru sat in silence thinking to herself, so she's a witch and use to live with the Sohmas. I can't wait to meet her! She sounds so wonderful!**

**Finhope you liked it!**


	3. Distant

_**Dear Kagome,**_

_**Yeah surprising I know when you wrote you said that I changed for the good of it. You're just acting nice because it's you. Don't take it to your head though. Everyone's coming to the little reunion but Akito. I'm happy about that, but you are still sick. I don't think it's a good idea that w have such a big blow out. I get you're strong and junk but hey don't think so boldly of yourself. You know that you shouldn't take what you have for grantite, espically being so sick and able to stand unlike the others. Tell me even though what is going on with everything. Hatori and everyone is coming, it's not a good idea but you did reserve the park area so whatever. This is going to be a short letter, that damn rat keeps watching me like a god damn spy. You know how it is.**_

_**Oh yeah about Tohru the one you keep talking about and wondering about is pretty ordinary like Hatori said. That picture you were talking about where Yuki was in the dress was hilarous. These fan girls came up and gave him this dress his girlish looks minius well make him a girl, just give him a little plastic surgery. Even though shut up about that smile. That damn Hatori made me say Z how does that work huh. You better throw away that picture god damn it! Just leave me alone about it! Anyway I'll see you tomorrow we do still have to fight your fricken sickness is just a jolt as you said and you still want to fight right? So bring it on. Don't think I'd hold back girly.**_

_**Kyo **_

_**Oh yeah stop with the "adorable" cat rambling I don't want to be cute! So just stop it with those cutsy seals. **_

**I dropped the pen and sighed folding the letter and slipping it into the envelope sealing it into the envelope. I turned to the rat hewas just staring at the letter without a word like he was trying to see through the paper. I rose an eyebrow then stood up ignoring him and slipping it into the mailbox. I stood there the sky was just raining snow, that was what she was talking about. Hatori and his relevence to snow, then she had this relevence to summer. It was overly dramatic. We're already an animal at a single hug now we're a season. Luckey we can't transform into that. **

**I was a little interested in the snow I guess, it was a sort of sentimental season because of the look of it from the outside world. Seems interesting. I stepped foreword into the snow with slippers on. I sat there and looked out to the snow. I just stood there. Kagome she was the girl that was already training me when I was just learning. She was 8 and she was training me, I guess that was what brought us to like each other a little. It was interesting how she taught me so easy she made it seem and so easy it was do when she taught me. I guess it was what made me this passionate fighter. That was my first year of training so then I left she was still there and that was that. The master's children. It was wonderful but when I came back for a little visit I asked myself where she was.**

**It was the first day I came back to train as happy as ever. The first day she said that the Sohma main home had called her to a meeting. She went and came back two hours later. I ran to her but she was silent with her eyes downcasted. She was crying I could tell by the face she had made that day. It made her dreary the way she was acting. She looked at me with a smile though said good night and sorry for making me stay up and train with Master Kazuma all day and not able to welcome him back. She then left. She went to talk to master and I listened from outside just standing there and listening. Kagome spoke to him with a shaky voice," I, I- because I have this disease...Akito has ordered me to leave...I have to get my things from here and my thinks from the main house and I'm leaving tomorrow night..."**

**Her voice drifted off as I heard her crying. She snuffed a tear back and looked away from him as I saw through the paper walls. Master responded back to her," What did you say? What did Hatori say?"**

**She took a second then answered," I was shocked. I was silent yet then I broke into a hysterical fit. I told him I didn't want to leave and that I didn't want to die alone without a good bye and to be seperated where in the end we would be so distant. I didn't want to be so far away. Akito didn't respond he threatened me to erase my memory so I turned and left without a word. And Hatori he looked at me with apologies as I left. I ran, I kept running. I wanted to keep running so it would just be a dream."**

**I knew Kazuma was comforting her as she cried. She didn't want to live away from there. It was obvious and then I stood up and left the entrance near the room I ran outside and looked up angrily, I wanted to kill Akito then for taking everything to that level of orders. He had no right. The next day before I could say bye she was gone with a single notecard left to me which said " good-bye" and an orange crane with red coloring at the tips.**

**Then the next day I heard nothing I just sat there thinking that she would come back to say good bye face to face but she didn't and I gave up. Master didn't even try to comfort me I think he knew what I was going through. I'm thankful that he didn't try that sympthy crap. I sat there until nightfall then the next day I got a letter explaining about everything and that was when I returned home grabbed my things and remembered my hatred for the rat and trained. Forgetting it all. Letters came in every single two weeks as she wrote so intensely and she wrote to everyone it was interesting how it worked, and when I went back to take down Yuki after those four months and then came Tohru into the whole fiasco. **

**Yuki and Shigure had recieved a crane and letters too. So had everyone else I had reunited with from the family. Espically Hatori. Letters came through and through continuing on and on it never ended. Yet that was all they were I thought to myself. They were just letters they weren't the same as the real thing. The real Kagome I knew that was how it was. She was never back and everything would never be the same because of that damn Akito. I hated him almost more then I hated Yuki. I hated him and I hated Hatori almost as must as I hated Akito, because he let her go without a word. Damn him to hell, damn them all to hell. He just let her go, and she didn't want it. They even threatened to take her memory and Hatori was prepared to take it at a single command. Now she's going to visit. I am honestly bursting inside. I can't wait to see her again. I think she can tell behind those words in the letter how I felt. She could always tell.**

**Finfor now at least **


	4. Complacement

_**Dear Yuki,**_

_**It has been a while, after you moving out from the main house and then into Shigure's house. I am surprised that you would move from the main house yet then again it was different for you as I understand than it was for me. You are most likely shocked why I would love the main house so much as it is a comfort zone for me as it is a cage for you. Yuki you see yourself wishing to be in my shoes or Kyo's due to the outcasting yet what you don't see is the potential that you yourself have. You ignore the signs that flash in neon lights as you chase your tail and nail all your good points in the middle of you back so that everyone but you can see it. **_

_**I am visiting tomorrow. I can't wait, to see everyone again. I have presents and food to bring. So much more and just to tell you at the moment since I know you are curious I am strong against the illness. I am strong and tough. This disease is only a pest, my herbs are healing me enternally and externally. I have graduated from collage at this age of 19 and I am now a goverment agent yet ignore me I am sure Hatori will tell you more about this. My hand has been continuing to move I have finished everyone's letter and this is the last. Momiji has written back and drew in pictures they are adorable truly wonderful. Little cute doodles. Hatori also told me about Kisa and Hiro the problems with Akito as you know I do not let it go without punishment. Knowing me I am not so cruel. He's sick and I understand it yet he casted me out and we haven't spoken. I wish to visit him soon no matter what he says. I cannot let things become so distant as it has. **_

_**Anyway how is school? Living with Shigure? Are things going smoothly? I hope so or then I would have to knock some sense into that gurdian of yours Shigure. I would of course he is quite immature. more or less respondsible when he fells. So mixed up yet that is Shigure for you. Also Ayame told me your relationship with each other has grown widely. I was so happy that you have grown to a bit of an understanding as are you and Kyo amazing and don't even trying to avoid it with reasoning you know it may be try and don't ruin it at least not until I die. How are you with this Tohru, I do hope that she is making you as different as you seem to be. She sounds so wonderful. I hope to meet her. I need to go my hand is cramping and I am a little tired I need to go with my herb treatings.**_

_**Forever Yours,**_

_**Kagome **_

**I continued to stare at the letter a little longer. My head was beginning to hurt and my heart was overflowing as I smiled a little. I honestly couldn't wait to see her, this source of light in the sky. I looked out the door to the sleeping white world. Hatori and Kagome were these too mildly opposite people yet they were completely the same in every way. Opposites attract after all as they saying goes. Kagome was this gurdian and this lantern for the Sohma family a source of hope and this kind of savoir as it went just like how Tohru is now. Miss Higurashi and Miss Honda. Kagome was the only one who could beat him the only one other then the Master of course. I took a breath then stood up and went to my room. I shut the door behind me and left the letter on my desk opening a drawer. **

**In that drawer was a grey and purple crane. The crane she had given me. Sitting down I stared at the paper bird in my hand a little longer. I was intrance the whole time, this letter each and every letter she gave me I always took it in thought in perspective. I was living in the main house when she left. I stood spying on her as she bid her regards to Hatori but then she ran. I felt like an empath feeling the pain everyone was going through. A tear fell from my eyes and I turned around and walked away. I first met Kagome when she was young we were in school and she was different. Whenever it came to games she was great yet at the corner of her eyes I could tell she was watching me. Whenever a girl got close to hugging me she was there to pull them away, she had known about the curse somehow yet then I found out her family was close to the Sohma family. I was shocked to find that out.**

**Yet then as we became actual friends she missed a day of school and that was when I changed and Hatori erased her memory. I didn't see Kagome after. She wasn't there and then she came to the Sohma house she said her family was killed yet she didn't cry. I looked at her shocked as we went inside then before I knew it she was living with us. I saw her more days then others as she had left more, then I found out she was actually a black belt yet she was then a black belt in two fields. I didn't expect it from a woman actually.**

**She was suddenly there she was the light of this dark family. Her own curses transpired but she shown through gladly. Smiling to herself. I look back now I see I took everything for grantite. I thought it would always be that way everything would always be like this so I didn't treasure it like I was suppose to treasure it. Everything was just so pointless then. I wanted out but she wanted in. Then she went missing one day and I saw her on the roof of the main house standing there looking to the setting sun. I was put into this moment of relazation of the area around me everything I had. I walked toward her she didn't notice, she was spacing out completely staring into the endless world around her. She rose her hands up as a wind came. I slipped and slid down as she turned in shock yet I accidently kicked her off as I fell to the edge yet still remained. I looked down to see her holding to the edge with her body dwindling down the edge. I gasped," Kagome!"**

**She looked up to me as I grabbed her hand pulling her up. We stabled on the roof as she fell on me but I didn't change. I stared at her then whispered," I'm sorry that could have killed you."**

**She shook her head at me as if mocking me with laughter but she then spoke," No it wouldn't of, it was an accident anyway. I forgive you."**

**Somehow those words reassured me all at once and my guilt disappeared in that second. Even though the thought of that sickness she had came in to mind all I could do was smile so I smiled at her as we stood up yet then she left to train for a while. Her joyful spirit left with her but then she came back later on entering with a smile leaving with tears without a word. The next day I saw her come back yet she was packing. Hatori sat me down and explained. I was enraged as I ran to see her. Everything was packed yet she sat there folding cranes. She wasn't crying anymore she was almost docile. I ran to her and jumped into her arms as she took a gasp but then settled. I was calm in her arms as I laid there on her lap as she folded her cranes. I laid my head there on her lap completely content yet giving off a nonchalant feeling. She handed me a crane I took it and held it carefully in my hands holding it to tenderly as if it were crystal. I then fell asleep, when i woke up the room was empty all the cranes that once filled the room gone. I walked away toward the door as I continued to try and find her I saw her standing infront of Hatori. She handed him a crane then turned and ran away tears left in the distance.**

**I stood there ready to run after her yet a wave of emotions over took me as tears rained down my face I couldn't contain them it was too much. I smiled a little then turned away leaving. Then it was about 1 month later I moved in with Shigure it was no different. A sigh escaped my grasp as I turned to the drawer taking out a photo, it was when we were younger. Usually I detest photos yet this is all I had left. There was a knock at the door as I stood up opening it," Miss Honda?"**

**" Umm, Hi Yuki. I was worried you seemed a little distant when you got your letter. I was worried."**

**I smiled to her, she was just like her so concerned with everyone else," I'm fine thank you it's just Kagome has a long history with everyone."**

**She nodded in a sense of understanding then joyfully told me," dinner is almost ready."**

**I nodded as she left I shut the door turning to the window to see Kyo outside pointlessly in the snow. I am prepared to insult him yet then I remembered what Kagome said and smiled to myself turning outward to see the snow. **

**Hatori and Kagome sat in the living room drinking tea as the fire danced across the den. I never expected to visit her after everything that happened, I guess I jusr felt so quickly because of eerything I saw it as if it was my fault. Everything even though Akito was the one who shunned her away. Ignored her pleas and wishes, even though I was just as guilty sitting there without a word. She was sick in need of others around her in the pain staking moment yet we left her out in the cold. My cold. She laid her head over my lap as I sat there in the chair. Her hair sprawled from her over me like an overflowing bath. I looked down to her and caressed her head carefully smiling. This was my moment of complacment nothing mattered yet I knew it wouldn't last like this forever. I shut my eyes placing my hand on her head as the image came she was gone. The figure of her in this moment she was fading and soon after her I began to fade. To once have this complete moment of love and have it taken away once was enough but twice was death in everyway ever known. A melancoly feeling brushed against me as I moved my hand back. She whispered eyes closed," Hatori your letter is in the mailbox you can take it with you now. The other letters for everyone else is already sent. I can't wait to see you tomorrow."**

**I nodded she knew me to well. She knew everything about me which drove me to the limits exactly. If she was to be gone it would push me off this already shaky bridge I am on. So close to end of it yet it still shakes under my frim grasp. She moved herself off me as I stood up. She walked me to the door as I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door. She stopped me and gave me a hug. I stopped there then smiled tenderly holding her in reassurence as I then stopped turning and leaving into the white abyss. She stood there until I was completely gone then she shut the door turning to leave. I looked down to the letter in my hand with her trademark seal and stopped turning back to her for a second. **

**Kagome looked down to the shards on the table and whispered to herself," I spread these shards of the Shikon no tama to the people that mean the most to me as I left it to Inuyasha, Sango, Shippo, and Miroku."**

**I left just like that when it occured I moved to these adopted family in the shrine and I ended up falling into more things. These problems I come into make me stronger yet then they hurt more when it comes to an end. Then this family that came to love me left to another place and I was left in this took me only a year and I was done with it all. School was done, money for a job came in, the shard huntings, even though as diffucult as that was I was driven to this point of comfort as I waved good-bye to them, my friends. I cried just like before as Inuyasha disappeared into the world of the dead and Sango and Miroku came to the world of love. Shippo and Kilala finding their own paths among the paved road. All the possibilties, and I was given the jewel as a present so I spread it to all those I love among the Sohma family until the day I die which would come faster then average timing. My friends from Feudal Era were blind to this illness they saw it as a comman cold no problem I hid it very well, I didn't want them to know. I would actually not want to know if I did have it. Then I could live life without a handicapp. **

**Fin hope you like it sorry if it's confusing or writing issues. **


	5. Distractions

_**Dear Kagome,**_

_**Yep it's me! Your widely known famous novelist friend Shigure! As you know my writing has been on a hot streak and I myself have been fine. I'm not sick or have been the only thing that bothers me is that everyday my house becomes destroyed by everyone. Even though Yuki and Kyo don't fight anymore at least not physically these days. Sometimes they do but now rarely isn't that surprsing! Yes I know what could have caused this mirlacous turn out? Well it's our flower in the bush Tohru. Oh yes she is the exact clone of you my dear sakura. Even though the destruction of my house comes from Kyo and Kagura's moment of love. She presents her love in such a way it would confuse any scienctist. **_

_**Now to think you are to return I can't wait honestly. It seems to be the best thing to ever happen. Do you look differently? You most likely do it has been five years or so hasn't it been?Most likely you are already fully grown into those limbs and slims. Oh yeah, yes of course these little lechrous thoughts in my head. Hahaha, I am such a wonderful person aren't I. To think it has been so long since I've seen you. Kagome, things truly haven't been the same without you here. I have missed you and it is only a little longer until we are to once again unite. Only less than a day and we are to meet all together. It is a family reunion only without Akito. I am sorry but he isn't coming he has spoken against it completely yet then again you are probably going to visit him no matter what he says right? Please Kagome don't push yourself. Remember you can still live your life to the limits yet don't push over the limits. **_

_**Also to tell you something Kagome, it seems as though Kisa and Hiro are becoming close to each other and Akito of course wouldn't accept that no matter what. You know him better then I do, he's this voide without you and with you he's this ice berg. Without a word just a solid cold wall. Don't take it personally Kagome. Even though the reason for him making you leave all this time is shrouded you know he has a good reason hidden back in his confusing smile. You'll be fine, you're already fine. Graduated at 19, working for the goverment at 19, and perfectly strong and dependent since birth. **_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Shigure xoxoxox hahaha**_

**I smiled folding the letter and slipping it into the envelope rising from my study and walking outside to the mailbox. I felt a cold shift in the air around me then looked around confused. The door was open and Kyo was just standing there looking out into the abyss of white completely in a daze as I walked over. I slipped the letter into the mailbox with crossed my arms smiling to Kyo and looking up into the cloudless dark sky," Kyo I am sure she didn't want to leave the way she did it was most likely the only way she could. She did explain that to you didn't she?"**

**I felt that was the only way to get into his head and weave through without an angry outburst. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and whispered in response," Yeah she did, but i just ignored it and wrote back ignoring the whole thing. It wasn't fair. I hated Akito before but then I just wanted to kill him and Hatori. It was his fault she had to leave it was his..."**

**I know he choked on the rest of it. Kagome had lectured him and soothed him trying to brush away those words from his heart and head. Yet it seemed without her physically being there it never really worked. She knew it, Kyo's hand then turned into a fist his knuckles turned white. I heard him breathe through his gritted teeth. I sighed then grabbed his head and dragged him inside. He turned yelling," What the hell Shigure!"**

**" You're going to get sick and then Har'i is going to blame me when he calls in for you. And the worst part is that you'll miss an actual one on one reunion with Kagome. Put it together Kyo!"**

**He noticed what I was saying as I saw it on his face. He then pulled away and walked up to his room. I honestly didn't want him outside like that forthose reasons but the fact that Har'i would get mad is a fact. He is very scary at this time of the year. Colds turning into fevers and then that would add up to poor Har'i ending up in a bad mood. Yet knowing Kagome Hartori wouldn't be mad for long. **

**I walked over to the kitchen. Tohru was cooking off as usual for today and tomorrow. I smiled to myself then turned around and headed upstairs opening the door to Yuki's room. He was just staring out the window. The wind in the room was cold just like downstairs. Obviously they were spacing out completely I spoke before shutting the door," Stare any more you'll melt the snow."**

**He stopped as I shut the door turning. I guess Kagome was a really big impact in everyone's lives espically my own. Kagome was about a couple years younger then Aya, Har'i and myself. Yet even though she was this light upon the world, upon the downcasted shadows. She was an inspiration actually if you were to think of things such as this in writer's memory. I smiled to myself then sat down in my study. I was walking in the hallways when I saw Har'i and Aya standing around this girl. I did live in the Sohma main house at the time yet it was a very big place you weren't expected really to know everyone except everyone in the zodiac if you were one. I smiled to myself back then thinking to ask her out yet then Hartori sent me a cold glare as if knowing what I was thinking. As Aya ran toward me in a sing song voice introducing me to Kagome Higurashi. Hatori told me she had been living with the Sohmas for a while and me finally hearing about it was predictable. I laughed then jumped up speaking to Kagome a little longer. The longer I spoke with her the more she grew on me and the more she became this important person to me. That sickness I found out about was pushed away and ignored at her wish and time when on, Yet then after school years I moved out she was there to see me off and settle me in yet then that was it we talked on the phone and then I heard she was kicked out of the Sohma world sadly. I then received a letter from her explaining a little and then I called Hatori who told me no comment and that was it.**

**I know she was hurt due to this and I knew Hatori was hurt due to this also so I dropped it. Then Yuki moved in and he too brought a distraught feeling. Everyone I saw had that feeling but glady Tohru came to remind us of Kagome. I was relieved to end this kind of speechless mourning. Afterall she wasn't dead.**

**Fin, sorry for spelling problems and short ness but I'm trying to put this up in a hurry!**


	6. Reunion

_**Dear Ayame,**_

_**How are you doing? I didn't expect to hear that you and Yuki are actually making an attempt to get along together. This time though Yuki is actually trying also. I am so happy for you. I hope things work out but then again think about it for a second. You two may get along together yet not really be able to tell because Yuki doesn't show it. Of course you know Yuki he wouldn't admit to it or show it over his dead body. Anyway how is your shop doing? I heard Yuki paid a visit and your co-worker had some fun. I can see Yuki bursting now, confused and angry. I can definately see it coming out. Just like old times wouldn't you say? I know you and Yuki are going to grow on each other without you knowing it. Try and be yourself but also know the times to be serious like how you were with me just because of this sickness. Then again you were yourself the serious and joking side. I love both sides more then any other. You know I'd always treasure you. I am writing this before the reunion today so you'll get it after or before but won't read it. Mostly everything would be disreguarded after wouldn't you say?**_

_**I can't wait to see you all again, and I can bet you Hatori is going to come about an hour early or an hour and a half. He knows me too well. I am going to tune up my car and such. Just to annoy Hatori. It'll be hysterical to see Har'i going crazy seeing me not ready but then again I know him and he knows me. All of you do. Also you don't have to great of a relationship with Kyo or anyone else in the zodaic so much. Knowing you, you just go with the flow. Did you know that our dear Ritsu was talking to me. He was going on and on talking about his self-confidence rising over and out. He wanted to be just like you, so self-confident and so strong. Just like you. I think that he doesn't notice his own gifts and talents. A wonderful family and such. I am very happy for him and you. Oh yes my adopted family moved to the US and I wished to stay here. Don't worry they didn't leave like it sounds. I wanted to stay here at a wish. Try not to burst and worry Aya. See you at the reunion.**_

_**Forever Yours,**_

_**Kagome**_

**I looked over the letter and slipped it into the mailbox walking outside. I had a long plaid unbuttoned shirt with a white tank top under and loose baggy jeans. Standing there I looked up to the sky. The snow had ended and surprisingly the snow was already melting. I was so happy about that. The spring is coming and it is changing for this reunion. I love the universe and it's karma! This reunion would be the best. I was beaming as I walked out to my car and lifted the hood. I stopped coughing and stretched for my wrench but then I felt someone grab my arm. I stopped suddenly turning after," Har'i?"**

**He just stood there then turned to me with an aggravated look," Kagome drop the wrench and go inside. Take a shower and change."**

**I sighed dropping the wrench as he pushed me side and into my room. I turned to the clock and smiled he was an hour and a half early. I laughed grabbing my dress and walking into the bathroom taking a quick shower. I changed into a black long halter dress with a red obi around the waist and a red cloth over my shoulders. Walking to the dresser I put two bangs down and lifted half of my hair up in a messy bun with two chopsticks leaving the rest down that had little curls in it. Slipping in two hoop earring and more bracelets then leaving out the door. Predictable Hatori stood right outside of my door making sure I was getting ready. I smiled to myself as he gave me his hand and I took it walking down the stairs. Hatori looked down at me and spoke," You look great Kagome."**

**I smiled yet then again I stopped to the closet boxs and bags poored out. I smiled," I got presents and yesterday I decorated the park for today it's awesome. Trust me."**

**I heard him sigh as he grabbed the boxes and bags and I took some. We put them into the car and drove off. I leaned my head on his shoulder then spoke," You know every action you did I could tell that you were going to. Maybe I know you to well huh?"**

**He turned and smiled to me as I looked at him with his suit on and smiled," You look great Hatori a real romeo huh?"**

**Hatori shook his head at me when the car stopped at the place. I actually made it out to be later so I could set everything up for the reunion. We got out of the car as I presented it to Hatori. Hatori stared at me," You did this by yourself? Are you trying to make me angry? You know that..."**

**I sighed speaking to finish the sentence," your sickness may not be taking full effect but don't push it."**

**I laughed as he gave me a little glare. I then walked to the car and got out the things taking out the food and setting it on the table and setting up the other decorations and putting the presents on the table. Smiling to myself as I set up the lantern I walked to the food section," Took me forever to fix up the food."**

**" I am guessing."**

**I turned to Hatori then walked toward the table where I left music CDs and stuff. Looking through I stopped speaking to Har'i," How is Akito?"**

**Everything turned silent like I knew it would be then with a sigh I turned to him dropped the CDs and pulled back my bangs. I honestly was worried about him. We were close like I was close with everyone. I wanted to speak with everyone yet he wouldn't let me see him I don't know why but he shunned me away with threats and orders. Never would things be the same until these walls would fall. Hatori just answered my question with a simple," Fine."**

**He wanted to say more I could feel it but then again I couldn't really tell if it was negative or not. I smiled in thought but then I heard someone scream my name. I turned around to see Momiji, Haru and two little kids. I smiled brightly then ran toward them," Momiji!"**

**He hugged me as I almost burst out crying. I turned to Haru as he stared at me. I ran toward him and hugged him as he gasped yet then he smiled. I moved back," Haru. It's good to see you."**

**He nodded," Yeah we really did miss you Kagome."**

**I smiled yet then looked down," Kisa and Hiro? I presume."**

**Hiro looked away," You're Kagome huh? And you're not a Sohma but you can hug us. How? Are you some magician?"**

**" No, I'm a Wicca and I can hug you as a spell was made. Nice to meet you to and Kisa?"**

**She seemed shy yet I just smiled putting out my hand," I'm Kagome it's nice to meet you or see you again."**

**Kisa nodded smiling as I jumped up with joy. This was going to be alot of fun. Momiji kept hugging me happily with a huge smile. **

**Shigure yelled," Yuki, Kyo! Come on now! We're late!"**

**Yuki walked down the stairs with his usual clothing yet more of a formal tone. Kyo stood leaning on the wall with a white buttoned up shirt and black pants. Tohru came out with somewhat of a formal clothing. In her hand was two bags of food. Shigure smiled," Then let's me on our way shall we!"**

**Yuki turned to him," Doesn't it start at 12:30?"**

**" Yeah, Shigure what the hell. It's 11:50 the park is just around the corner."**

**Tohru looked confused as Shigure told them," Har'i called at 11:30 and said Kagome was being stubbron ignoring her illness."**

**Confused Tohru asked," Ilness?"**

**Yuki nodded," Kagome has leukima. She is very strong her immune system allows her to stand and such like a normal girl yet still she has her weaknesses."**

**They nodded as Tohru looked away. As they walked out to the car she turned to Kyo," Why did Kagome have to leave the Sohma house Kyo?"**

**He sighed," Because of that damn Akito. When he found out about her sickness he just shunned her and threatened to take her memory so he kicked her out. They were kinda close I guess. The only one who got close to him like that."**

**She was shocked. The Akito she met never seemed as someone who would open to anyone. He was fearful to her yet then that would mean Kagome really was such an open person. Maybe, she thought to herself, just maybe we could become friends.**

**Fin- hope you like it. Sorry for grammer and length. Also this chapter is dedicated to Dark Inu Fan for everything. All your kind words and reassurence I know I spelled that wrong but anyway thanks so much!**


	7. Hawks

_**Dear Kagome, **_

_**Yes it's me! Your forever loveable friend Ayame! Of course you know my shop is so wonderful! People of all shapes and sizes coming through the doors with greetings and cheers. Oh so I hear you and Har'i are wonderful! Working together against the forces of evil. Maybe I do read into things and my sense of safety is wondrous even though as you heard Yuki begged to go to my shop and he loved it dearly! Yes he was pleading to be like me. Going out for class president! Following in my glorious shoes. Hahaha! Even though on a more serious tone how are you doing? Your leukemia is it wearing thin. If we are lucky maybe just maybe your sickness will vanish and you can come to live with me again. I can't wait until that day! It is truly a day to wait for. I know in my heart it shall come! Just wait! It is much like the realization that Yuki and I shall one-day work together in peace and harmony! Our brotherly love shall grow to imaginable heights. On the second thought that seems vaguely scary. **_

_**Anyway I cannot wait to see you as I am writing this before I leave since I just got your letter and I can write as fast as the wind! Or at least the still wind. Anyway! Being fashionably late doesn't seem so bad at all. Unless I am an hour late, that would be bad yet even though you can count on me to be there to once again see you my lovely princess. It is much like the painful dramatic story of Sakura. Do you not remember it? The story I told you that night? The story, Koushi Sakura (Beloved Cherry Blossoms)? I hope you still have that bound book with that story in it and all of the pictures we shared together. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Ayame**_

_**Tata for now!**_

I sighed with a content smile running out the door slipping the letter into my pocket and heading out to the waiting taxi and directing him with a beaming smile. I couldn't wait to see my dear Kagome again. We met through Hatori. I wasn't one to roam the main house streets to search for new members of this family clan. I instead spent as much time outside than inside to school and such yet then Har'I was seen walking with her down the paved streets with such a docile face I would have believed that he was impersonated. So then I ran up to meet her and bother Hatori with my annoying badgering and cutting in. She was sweet a real gentle girl yet then as I spoke on Hatori dragged her away yet she waved a goodbye and then I saw her at school.

**Our relationship grew when I found out about her illness. Then I knew why Hatori watched over her like a hawk. When she was in gym class he has requested the chair next to the window to keep an eye on her just incase. So I tagged along behind him. Every time he turned to see her she waved at us and I waved back as Hatori's face became gentle and he sent a smile short smile turning back to his book. It went on she was healthy and then one day I saw her arguing with him. He was yelling equally loud. I stood against the door unknown to them when I heard Hatori say," Kagome why won't you make a wish upon that jewel if it has so much power. Heal yourself! Stop this leukemia before it's to late!" **

**She responded screaming to the brink of tears," I won't abuse it's power for myself! I won't heal myself with the power I promised to protect and keep safe and clear. I won't keep it so I can abuse it for my own needs. I would be darkening it."**

" **Kagome! You were to have if because you were pure. It owes you! Save yourself!"**

**Everything became quiet then as I looked away. This jewel, An amulet was it? I didn't understand it at all yet then I heard them walking toward the door as I turned away leaving down the hall. The next day as we watched Kagome from the window we saw her collapse. My eyes widened as she stayed down. Hatori jumped up as the teacher exclaimed," Mr. Sohma sit down!"**

**I stood up with him as he ran out of the door. I followed the teacher almost bursted when we left. Hatori was almost gone by now as I ran after him seeing him run out the door to Kagome. Everyone crowded around her as he pushed through. Next thing I knew we were at the hospital and she was lying in the hospital bed so helpless. I sat there when Shigure came through the door. I explained everything to him as he walked through the door lying a hand on Hatori's shoulder speaking calmly," She'll be fine."**

**He gripped onto her hand for dear life as I saw Hatori threatening to cry yet held it back. Kagome slept there, I was curious why the leukemia would take effect now. After all this time it suddenly came to action. Maybe it was that argument with Hatori. Her sudden jolts of emotion bringing out side effects. I sighed I didn't want to share my ideas thinking it could hurt Hatori worse then it has now. So we ended up spending the night. Yuki came in and so did others with get well presents yet left knowing Hatori's relationship with her. Even Akito came, that was when he noticed Akito's pain. He went out with Shigure and I he was crying as he spoke," Kagome cannot continue to live with us if this is to continue. It is…in her best interest. Yet until she recovers from this, she'll have to leave."**

**Without he left and Hatori was sleeping on the couch beside the bed. I smiled to him then sat down next to Kagome. I took her hand and spoke," You gave us quite a scare in that moment you know Kagome. Even though to remind you I'll tell you now. That life in the Sohma home isn't as great as it seems to be. Don't get to attach, just like life Kagome. Cherish it, live it happily, be happy and joyful. Repay lives with everything yet even though don't get too attached. Life may play out like a game on days yet then again it isn't always is it? Kagome have you ever heard the story of Koushi Sakura? It's about a girl who spent her life devoted to everyone else because she loved her life placement so much, Yet then one day she did something for her friend yet she didn't complete the task because she died from a fever. She had been fighting that fever but it rose to high just because she thought that she didn't deserve anyone else's help. Kagome you do things for everyone else and don't ask for anything in return. Life should treat you yet you don't let it and it cuts you off. Life, the world, Karma, owes you."**

**Her eyes fluttered open then as she turned to me with a small smile," No way Ayame."**

**I was ready to cry yet then I stopped my serious tone and smiled," Har'I she's awake! Oh Kagome I knew you would. They doubted me yet of course my ingenious mind and personality sure showed them!"**

**I laughed at my own truth/fictional words. Shigure then walked in with a relieved smile, " Kagome I'm glad you're awake feeling better?"**

**She nodded sitting up as we turned to Hatori. She smiled so kindly then got out of the bed walking over and kissing him on the forehead turning to us as Shigure laid out the food he got from the vending machine. So we ate. **

**I smiled looking back to that then got out of the car paying the driver then saw the decorated park smiling, " Kagome really has out done herself this time!"**

**I walked down when I saw Kagome standing there with Hatori behind her like a hawk as always I yelled out," Just like old times huh Kagome?"**

**She turned to me almost ready to burst then ran toward me and hugged me tightly. I didn't change it was definitely like old times. I hugged her and twirled her around. I missed her so much," Kagome! I've missed you and look at you! Are you looking for someone special because you know my outfits work better!"**

**She laughed at me and said," I'm an independent girl Aya."**

**Waving it off I nodded," Of course of course."**

**Hatori walked over," Aya."**

**I smiled as I immediately began to bother him. Kagome was amused too. I knew she liked it whenever Hatori got annoyed he always made the funniest face. I then stopped remembering the letter and handing it to her," Here you go Kagome!"**

**She took it happily and ran to the table to put it with her things when I saw Haru talking to her. He did have a sense of affection for her but then again so did everyone else. I turned to see a car coming around and Shigure coming out with everyone. Kagome turned around with a bright smile running toward them. **

**Fin for the moment and also this is dedicated to Kage Otome for her wonderful kind reviews, And also many reviews. Thank you so much this is all for you! You rock so hard! Hey can't ever have too much praise you know what I'm saying**


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